If he loves you, he won’t eat McDonald’s in front of you (or at least apologize for it)

As I’ve mentioned before, one of the things that I miss is McDonald’s French Fries. I mean, it’s the memory of the prefect McDonald’s French Fries, and those were few and far between. Still, I kind of miss them. Right after Christmas, the husband brought McDonald’s into the house. It’s not something that he does often, especially if I’m around. But it was Christmas day ,we had driven home from Portland, and we had no food in the house ready to make. So we needed to get take out.

I was lucky, because there was a pho place that I knew I could eat at that was open. The husband, who can eat anywhere he wants, was not. He’s not a fan of pho, which I don’t understand, but I don’t push the issue. He wound up driving around for 30 minutes looking for something easy that he could grab and bring home to eat. What he found was the golden arches. When he came home with the food he looked at me and apologized, but I didn’t really care, because my pho smelled a lot stronger than his fries (and had large pieces of ginger, yum!)

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The truth, and you can’t tell him this, is that it doesn’t bother me as much as it did a year ago. I mean, a year ago, I hadn’t found all of the things that I could eat. I wasn’t as comfortable with my diet. I have some pretty good coping mechanism now. I’m still paranoid about everything. I watch people’s hands. I ask a million questions. I read and double check everything that I eat. But I’m better about the McDonald’s thing now.

My memory of McDonald’s isn’t as sharp as it used to be. It used to be a pining for Chicken McNuggets and Fries. I wish I could say that I found better foods to replace them, but really I just kind of forgot about it. Sure when you drive by a McDonald’s that smell is still there, but now it’s just kind of a thing. Kind of like the smell of yeasty bread rising when you go past Subway. It doesn’t really do anything for me anymore.6c53faa0-35d9-0132-408c-0ebc4eccb42f

Olfactory memory is commonly implicit memory which can be created over time. For those that don’t know what that means, is it’s a conditioned memory, like a Pavlovian response. You get practice associating a sensation, and as you repeat it, your body begins to create neuro pathways, until you have an memory of the sensation burned into your brain. If you would like a really good explanation, watch this video. MatPat, over at Film Theory, does a really awesome explanation about implicit memory using diet coke and (of course) does it by discussing superhero movies. If you’re not interested in the whole superhero aspect of this, skip to minute 6, that’s where he starts the discussion on memory, but really the whole thing is pretty great.

So, how does this apply to me not craving McDonald’s from smelling it anymore? I haven’t eaten McDonald’s in 2 years, this means that the habituation of my neurological patterns for McDonald doesn’t have practice anymore. The smell/recall process isn’t as strong as it used to be. This means that the craving that the smell of McDonald’s used to trigger in me isn’t as strong as it used to be, and will eventually fade. This is why the smell of fresh baked bread doesn’t trigger the same sensation in Celiacs or Gluten-Sensitives as it does everyone else.bd46198633a7768150c7ce3d8b000c78 And is the reason that we don’t even remember the taste of gluten bread anymore.

 

We’ve all said those words. We can’t remember the taste or the mouth feel. That’s because our brain associates bread with our new reality of bread. For adults, our memory adapts for bread to be these heavier, dense, moist loafs. When we think bread we this of Udi’s and not Wonderbread. For children that are diagnosed young, they might not even remember having a loaf of store bought sandwich bread, like Wonderbread. With all of the cures on the horizon, I wonder what it will be like for these gluten free kids to take a pill and have some of that full gluten, cloud light bread. Will the think, “there’s nothing to this, there’s no substance, no body” and automatically dislike it? Will they taste McDonald’s and think “This is nothing but salt!”

25426314198bcbdad3eacc0955af1466There’s some conditioning in our lives that make us like McDonald’s or Diet Coke or Wonderbread. It’s comfortable. And when you have to change your diet, that comfort is taken away. McDonald’s is good, sure, but it’s not great. We have good memories of Happy Meals and play areas, or high school dates, or late night post bar munchies. It’s the food of our youth, so we’re attached to it. But now that I’m 2 years from eating McDonald’s’, I don’t crave it when I smell it anymore. I remember some of the good times. I remember the treat it was when I scraped together enough money to go and eat out when I was broke and in college, but I don’t really care about eating it right now. And I’m okay with that.

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You can’t always eat what you want…

Happy New Years everyone!

So, post Christmas was interesting. I got the stomach flu. I honestly never really thought I would ever be excited from the stomach flu, but only having the body aches and need to run to the bathroom for a limited time (and not having all of the rest of the glutened symptoms afterwards) is kind of amazing. I get excited knowing that the flu is a limited time illness, and it’s kind of sad.

Anyway, after the stomach bug I cut my thumb open. Literally, I was sick the Monday and Tuesday after Christmas and on Tuesday night I sliced my thumb open. Below is a recreation of the actual event.

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But seriously, I cut about halfway through the tip of my thumb. Kind of makes typing hard. And then the in-laws descended on my house. We got away with eating without incident (in the home) but the one meal outside of our house that we had, I got glutened.

It was a really stupid one. We went to Maggiano’s Little Italy, which pride themselves on doing gluten free (and all allergies) really well. They had a chief come out and speak with me (nice touch) and assure us that there was a separate gluten free part of the kitchen with special gluten free pasta water. They make all of the pasta in house and make sure that there’s no cross contamination. And I get my plate of fresh-made pasta prepared gluten free (and it’s pretty good, still a little grainy but not half bad pasta). And there, in the middle of my plate, is a strand of not gluten free spaghetti. How do I know, because I had penne and when I mentioned that there was spaghetti on my plate, the waitress got this look on her face and said she’s get the chief. But the chief didn’t come back, the manager came back and comped my meal. And got me a new plate of pasta. And gave us $50 in gift cards because they were so embarrassed that is happened. I mean, I was down for the count for 3 days but there was 3 free meals out of it. Doesn’t make up for the intestinal damage, but I would be willing to try again in case this was just a fluke.

So, my stomach has been a little tender as of late. And I’ve been a bit emotional. And I totally hit the post holiday funk. And I can’t really type or crochet or video game until this last week (Pokemon Go doesn’t count because it only uses one hand.) So, I haven’t been writing or really doing much of anything.  Until this last weekend.

I subscribe to the Gluten Free on a Shoestring newsletter. I really like their recipes and used several of them over Christmas. A couple of months ago I found one of her cookbooks in our local half priced book store (creatively called Half Prices Books) and bought it. Inside I found one of my favorite things, molasses break. It’s a quick version of the bread that you get at Outback Steak House, but gluten free. I’d been trying to 2 years to make something close, so I tried it. I modified the recipe a bit to make in my bread machine, and it was perfect. Literally perfect. Light and fluffy and moist. I made for Thanksgiving dinner and it was amazing. I also tried to make Monkey bread for the first time since the diagnosis, and it was also amazing.

This started us down the road of seeking out foods we haven’t had in a while. There was the cider pub in Seattle that had gluten free fish and chips and fried cheese (it was 100% gluten free restaurant). There was the fried rice after New Years (which almost, but didn’t, include part of my thumb). There was our trip to the local Asian market near our new house that included buying of mochi ice cream. And then this weekend we chased the dragon (so to speak.) I made Chinese barbecue pork and the husband made fried chicken.

I’ve tried making barbecue pork before and it was…okay. This time was a million times better. The fried chicken, that was from Gluten Free on a Shoestring. A KFC copy cat recipe was sent in the newsletter last week, and I just wanted it. We had been watching video of kids trying Christmas food was around the world, and in Japan KFC is traditional to have on Christmas Day. I starting having a craving for some fried chicken, and I was obliged last night.

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Seriously, I don’t remember fried chicken being soo good. It was crispy and moist and yummy. I think I was 8 all over again eating chicken from a bucket. I just needed some of that overcooked, dry corn on a cob and a biscuit slathered in butter and honey from packets.  Next time we make it, I’ll work on biscuits I think.

We all have these foods that we love, and honestly, not all of them come in easy to find gluten free varieties. Sure, my new molasses bread isn’t the same texture as the one at Outback Steak House. It’s a bit more dense and moist than that one is. Sure my barbecue pork doesn’t have that bright red skin that the ones in the grocery store have (that food coloring BTW.) And sure that fried chicken wasn’t as thickly coated as the KFC, but it was still pretty amazing. And yeah we can’t just go to the store and buy it, but this isn’t a lament of the loss of convenience, but celebrate the resourcefulness of our people.

Celiacs and Gluten Sensitives have been finding a way to get their favorite things for years. It’s been years of struggle to get to this point. We live in an age of regulation of labeling and blends of flours that can create whatever you want. Sure we can’t get the protein structures like gluten baked goods, but we can get close. And we are on the cusp of a cure. As we speak there’s clinical testing on possible cures. This is the best time to need to be gluten free. Sure there’s a lot of room for growth. Sure there can be better testing and education (I mean look at Italy) but we’re in a pretty good place.

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So, just because you can’t have EXACTLY what you want, be glad with what you do have. Because everyday we’re just a little bit more comfortable. Everyday some inventive cook out there figures out another way to make something gluten free. And we know how to do things that most normal people never think about. We know the careful alchemy of mixing whole grains and starches to create just the right surface tension for fluffy bread. We know how to do things that people just didn’t need to do anymore, that people forgot because the industrialized food machine has been doing it for them. We 1hduzeare the people who can’t be lazy, can’t decide that there’s just no energy to make something and I’ll just go out. Where most people start on their cooking, with boxed and frozen foods, that’s where we get lazy. We are the Celitariat, doing all of these things because the gluten free life has chosen us. We have our hustle on just to put food on the table and not be sick afterwards. That is what the gluten free life really is.

 

So, as the title of this post says, you can’t always eat what you want…but if you try really hard you can get pretty close.

What did you think I was going to Rolling Stones here…?

 

When you find a server who “knows”, tip them well. They will be your best friend.

We are neck deep in the process of buying a new house. When I say neck deep, we’ve been looking at Real Estate for about 4 months now, and our house closes on November 1st. Really, we’re looking at moving. Of course, we’re moving pretty quickly with this whole moving thing, because we still haven’t 100% bought a place yet. We’re just under contract. Yup, that’s how we do this moving thing.

This whole process has made us do a lot of eating out. We’ve been going to open houses every weekend for months. We’ve been going to look at house after work. And since there’s very food quick fix gluten free meals, we’re had to find food out and about.That can be a tall order for a Celiac, because of all of the things that we mentioned in the blog before. I’ve been eating a lot of Chipotle and Red Robin, because they’re good at the gluten free thing.

We have taken to carrying around cash to tip anyone who does gluten fr
ee really well. When I ask for them to change their gloves and instead they offer to make my food in the back, away from all of the gluten foods, you bet I’m going to toss a couple of dollars into the tip jar. Places like Chipotle, this is just their 1cj08vnormal standard procedures. But if you walk into a Panera and get that offer, I’ll give them a couple of bucks. I still tip at the Chipotle, because they do well and should be rewarded to doing well.

Of course, I have been known to tip up to 50% if aserver says the magic words “Oh I totally understand, I have [insert family member or friend] who eats gluten free.” It instill this sense of security and a camaraderie with the server. They understand what I’m going through! They can take care of me! I trust them! Yup, I will pay good money for this. It’s the same sense you get when you walk into a gluten free bakery, you have a guide who can point you through a menu or advocate for you with the kitchen. As a celiac, you going to put a lot of effort out there. You’ll make calls to restaurants to make sure they can accommodate you. You’ll give your pre-prepared speech every time you order. Just that moment when you realize that you have someone who is really on your side, really willing to help you out and go to bat for you (even if it’s just for one meal) you gotta reward that person.

I’ve had a couple of these great interactions. The first time I tried our local taco place (plus tequila bar) I had a server who had a family member that had celiac. He pointed me to tacomenu items that I could eat, and even gave me a suggestion of what to have on that menu (grilled halibut tacos with mango salsa and chimichurri and grilled asparagus on the side). This was my first real experience with the “I know” servers, and I thought I would never have it happen again. But I’ve had people say that they eat gluten free, and made sure the kitchen was extra careful. I had people go to the bar to check what alcohol they had, and said “I see my mom drink this and she is gluten free.” I even had one person who came by saying that she had chills because kitchen had accidentally pit an onion ring on my place and she was worried that I was going to “die” from it.

That’s not all of my experiences, but some of the most note worthy. I have had a lot of great interactions by just being blunt and asking for help. There are some restaurants where they just met my expectations of taking care of me. But then there were these amazing superhero servers who went above and beyond. I think they they should be called out as the amazing human being that they are. We’ve all had someone in customer service who go out of their way to help. The best of them will just tell you that they’re “just doing their job.” It doesn’t mean that you are any less appreciative of their help. Unlike a lot of other customer service jobs, you can reward the servers for their work by leaving a bigger tip, and you probably should.

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But if it’s not healthier, why would anyone eat gluten free?

Right before I started this blog we went to a gluten free class at our local co-op market. It was a class on what it meant to be gluten free and a taste test of some gluten free products, so a starter gluten free class. Considering that we had be living gluten free for almost a year, we didn’t really expect to learn much and would get a chance to try some gluten free products (which is always a bonus.) We learned a lot more than I expected to, some about gluten free living and some about the Gluticrats who want to be Celitariats.

So, let me start this out by saying that the only Celiacs in the class were me and the instructor. We had a couple of people who might have been non-Celiac gluten sensitives (they really need a better name). I wasn’t sure about the rest of them (some where there because they read that gluten free living could cure arthritis or give them magical powers or something) but considering some of the questions the instructor was asked and their reactions to some of his questions, I feel safe lumping them in with the Wheat Belly crowd.

It came to the point while we were discussing how gluten free starches were more calorically dense than their gluten containing counterparts that one of the attendees in the class asked “If gluten free isn’t healthier, why would anyone eat it?” I have two problems with this question. One, the instructor has just spend 20 minutes discussing what Celiac disease was and how gluten effects those afflicted with it, and two, it sounded like she was asking “if this new food trend didn’t magically make me lose weight why is everyone trying it?” Welcome to the world that invented such wonderful diets and the Lemon aid cleanse and the gummy bear diet. We shouldn’t really question why fad diets exist just what, if any, benefits there are to them.

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I totally loved the instruction at this point in time, because he pointed out a really interesting Canadian study that was compared the athletic performance of athletes who were non-celiac and not diagnosed as gluten sensitive. The study basically found that that was no impact on the athletes performance when eating gluten free. They studied the effects of inflammation and overall performance. Go and read it because the whole thing is super interesting. It was a small study, but it’s part of the beginning of debunking some of the gluten free myths out there.

This starts to go down a road that I’ve touched on before, how many people out there are actually eating gluten free when they don’t need to. A recent article in Live Science stated that about 3 times as many people are following a gluten free life style than actually need to. Between 2009 and 2014 the number of diagnosed cases is celiac desease in the America remained staganit (at .7%) yet the number of people following a gluten free diet has risen during the same time period (here’s the abstract of the actual study  for you to look at.)  The biggest culprits young adults between ages of 20-39, non-hispanic whites, and women.

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So why do these people think that eating gluten free is better, well they’re eating less grain in general when they go on a gluten free diet. More fruits and vegetables. Less fast and processed foods. I mean, when we stop putting a bunch of junk in our bodies we’re going to feel better. Good food is good, it tastes better and makes you feel better because you’re giving your body what it really need and not just some processed cheese dusting (I’m looking at your Burger King and the monstrous things you’re doing with Cheetoes.) Sure I miss being able to go out to grab some McDonalds on a long weekend house hunting. But you know what, I feel a lot better going to the grocery store and getting some veggies and hummus and pretzels. Or grabbing a salad. Every whose ever eaten some junk food knows the ache of that stomach shame, and when you’re eating a lot of junk, you feel it all of the time. Just eating better food makes that go away right away. If you do that because you think going gluten free will make you healthier, and you get that placebo reaction, of course going gluten free is making you healthier. And if you’re eating better food and it makes you lose weight, well then eating gluten free makes you lose weight.

I don’t think we need to get into how that starts rumors and myths start, but I’m pretty sure that exactly what we’re seeing here.

Now, there’s been some pluses and minuses for all of the faux Celitariats in America. That rising number of gluten free diets means that more people are eating gluten free foods, meaning there’s more demand. More demand means more supply, so we have them to thank for all of the new gluten free products on the market. But it also means that we have a harder time eating out in the world. We can go to a restaurant and say, “I need gluten free food” but all of these faux Celitariats who are not confined to strict gluten free diet make cross contamination issues much harder on the rest of  us.

So, eating gluten free doesn’t make you healthier, unless you have celiac or non-celiac gluten sensitivity, but paying attention to what you eat does make you healthier. So pay attention to what you eat and start eating gluten again. This doesn’t mean go out and eat fast food all of the time, but go out and eat better. That is how you will feel better.

 

 

 

A good gluten-free bakery is like a unicorn, magical and special

First off, today is a pretty historic day. Today our fellow Celitariats, the non-celiac gluten welcome-to-the-club-meme-5538sensitive, have been verified as having a digestive issues from eating wheat! It’s a step in the right direction to get all of the right and privileges that celiac’s have (yeah I’m still trying to figure out what those are too.) But it’s a step towards recognized medical diagnosis and away from the “wheat-belly” it’s all in your head gluten intolerance. So, that’s good. The study was reported today on celiac.com, but the actual study was been published since July 25th.

So, what does this have to do with my post today, well it was brought to my attention from one of my favorite GF bakeries. They posted the study on Facebook this morning. It’s not their normal thing, usually it’s about their season menus, but this was something that they wanted to celebrate. So let’s celebrate them back a little.

There are a couple of big gluten free bakeries out there. We all know about them Udi’s is probably the biggest, but now they’re more of a gluten free food line than anything else. There’s a lot of bigger regional bakeries. Out here in the NW we have W.O.W. (Without Wheat) which is out of Kent, Washington and makes one amazing oatmeal cookie. You can usually find these two in the gluten free section of your grocery store. Then there’s the small neighborhood bakeries. These you can sometimes find in the bakery section or freezer section of your special grocery store or by driving to their home neighborhoods. The Seattle area has a slew of these. There’s Flying Apron, NuFlours, Coffee and a Specialty Bakery (which is downstairs in Pikes Place Market and worth the walk down all those stairs) and Wildflour (way over in Bellevue.) Large chunks of Seattle are covered with their own little neighborhood places. And then you  have the start-ups that are in your farmer’s markets. We found a really nice one at our local farmer’s market called Sugar and Spice, and they make amazing bread, including a cinnamon swirl bread that makes the best french toast.

The first one of these that I made my way into was Wildflour. They have an amazing flour

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This is kind of what it looked like!

mix (no they don’t sell it) that makes light fluffy bread and some of the best chocolate chip cookies that I’ve ever had (glutened or gluten free.) Walking into Wildflour was like walking into a Willy Wonka’s magic chocolate garden room. I could eat anything and everything. It’s not until you walk into a grocery store and realize exactly how much you can’t eat to understand what it’s like to take that freedom for granted. Walking into a dedicated gluten bakery takes all of that away. There you can eat everything! That bread on the shelf, you can eat that. Those cookies in the case, you can eat those too. I honestly think I spent way too much money on out first trip to the shop, but it was so worth it. We walked out with some of the best foccacia I’ve ever had and cookies that were amazing. It’s just a beautiful thing.

I had a similar feeling when we went to Coffee and Specality Bakery and got some bacon cinnamon rolls (they make the best cinnamon rolls) and spoke with the owners for 20 minutes about Seattle suburbs and got some free dinner rolls from them. Or when I met some girlfriends for coffee at Flying Apron and there was mac and cheese and beer and doughnuts! Oh my! It’s kind of great just being able to go in some place and eat EVERYTHING knowing that it was safe to try whatever I want. The best part is when your friends think that the gluten free option is better than the gluten option.

Yup, the food of our people is better than what you Gluticrats have. Sure you can eat gluten free, but until you know that it’s as good as or better than that glutened stuff, well that’s really special. I still have more to explore, but that’s part of the joy of being gluten free. There’s a whole new world of food to eat.

 

You Can’t Always Eat What You Want…

…but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you eat what you need…pokemon-go-draft-33-photos-34

So like the rest of the world I have gotten into Pokemon Go. Unlike the rest of the world. I am not sore today because I was traipsing all round the world and back trying to catch ’em all. I spent all weekend cleaning my house to put in into the housing market. The housing market in Seattle is pretty booming right  now, and we want to get on the right side of it for once. So I’m totally sore from cleaning my house and making it literally picture perfect. Didn’t keep me from catching this little guy today at Ghostfish.

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Gluten Free I choose you!

If anyone remembers my double post a while back about gluten free beer, Ghostfish is my favorite. My sister in law is in town for a long weekend and we invited her out for a beer and some pizza while she was here. She’s a total beer person and we wanted to share Ghostfish with her. As we sat down they mentioned that, in the month since we had last been there, they now have a full kitchen. Now they serve more than just pizza and sandwiches now there’s a full menu including fried foods.

Anyone who has ever tried to order gluten free in a restaurant knows the danger of fried foods. If your french fries go in the same fryer as the chicken nuggets, well you’re SOL and should probably just stick with the salad. It’s kind of part and parcel of the life. The best part of someone who is part of the Celitariat starting a business to fill a void in our lives (like the guys at Ghostfish) they thing about the things that we miss. You don’t see a lot of dedicated gluten free pho places, mostly because pho is naturally gluten free (and if it’s not you’re doing it wrong) but there’s a lot of gluten free bakeries. The bakeries fill the void in the community, because someone has to bake the bread. Ghostfish has filled yet another void in my life, and that is the void of fried food! Beer and fried food, gawd a gluten free gastro pub is amazing.

So tonight, for the first time in more than a year, I had tempura. I can make teriyaki and katsu and even ramen at home. But I love Japanese food, and one of my favorite thing is tempura. That light fluffy better over sweet potatoes  or broccoli or onions…oh I can’t really thing of those things without want to eat it all. And that batter is full of gluten. Even if it wasn’t, tempura is fried in the same oil at the panko breaded katsu or the goyza. Gluten, gluten, and more gluten. So no tempura for me. Well until tonight.

It was kind of amazing. It literally could have been the worst tempura ever (and it wasn’t) and I would still think it was amazing just because I could eat it. I might have mentioned before that I really want someone to fry food to me and bring it to my table, and tonight I had that moment, but it was more that that. This was something that I haven’t had and had been craving, and there’s really no substitute for it.

For a lot of food, I can find a substitution, but there’s some that you really can’t substitute. For me, it was tempura (until tonight.) Well, tempura and couscous and eggs benedict. So one out of 3 solved isn’t half bad. Before tonight I thought that I could survive without these food because, well, it’s just nothing is work feeling sick,  but now I feel like we just need patients and people in the community with ingenuity.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to clean up some cat fur and catch some more pokemon. I can’t let the other trainers get ahead of me!

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A good husband will wash his hands before going to the bathroom

My husband, like a lot of gluticrats that are married to celitariats, doesn’t always eat gluten free. We were out to dinner at Chipotle (I love these people because they have amazing allergy protocols) and he excused himself to go to the restroom while I was still noshing on my burrito bowl. He comes out of the bathroom with a really amused/pleased look on his face.

Oh get your mind out of the gutter. It’s public restroom!washed hands

No, this is the face that he has when he’s come up with a great (and amusing) world observation. He does this often. I honestly married a philosopher comic. But he gives me his little boy grin, like he does before he’s about to tell me a joke, and says, “I got really smart and washed my hands before I used to urinal.”

 

Yup. That’s the kind of thing that you share in public.

His reasoning was pretty sound.  Just in case our marriage when to that adult marriage place, he wanted to make certain that ALL of him would be safe for his wife.

Yup, he went there too.

Okay, lets this about this logically for a moment. He had eaten his ginormous Chipotle burrito with his hands. So there was gluten all over those hands. The same gluten that we make the servers behind the counter wash their hands and change their gloves before they made out food. Why would he touch parts that might be touched by me later without taking the same precautions? It makes so much sense. And how can’t I be happy that he thought of it, since he was so proud of himself.

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We had the opposite of this happen last week. Last Monday I was on day 2 of a glutening. For me, day 2 is the foggy brain, body aches, and the least functioning I could possibly be. I am totally useless. Actually I’m kind of proud that I got something out that was coherent-ish for the blog last Monday. So, did I eat anything with gluten in it? Of course not. I try and be really careful. Did my husband? You better believe it. And what did I do? Well I kissed him, because we’re one of those sickening couples that do that. After I done with a little peck of the lips he looks at me with horror and said, “I just had a granola bar.”

Bippity-boppity-boo and I’m sick!

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Well a couple of hours later I was sick. And then sick for the next couple of days.

So, washing hand before going to the bathroom with hopes that you might get lucky…well it’s not that out of the question. It’s not even an unrealistic expectation. Not everyone is THAT sensitive, but honestly, I think that it’s one of those better safe than sorry kind of things, because you never know, it sucks to be sick. And when you have someone who really thinks about your needs (along with their own) well, you should keep them around because it’s awesome.