Semen is gluten free

Well, I have no proof that the US Navy does or doesn’t serve gluten to it’s sailors, but I have a good feeling that it does. So, I wouldn’t expect any Celiacs to be trolling to sailors when the boats come in town.

So, let me say that there’s one important thing here, there is no study for any of this. This is just my research. Apparently, this is something that is just so…well duh…that no one is willing to even look a studying it. That being said, the husband and I were looking at writing Playboy Adviser to ask them for some proof on this. But google works just as well as a letter into Hugh Hefner’s 50 year tribute to the most interesting man in the world, and generally much faster.

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But in all seriousness, we can’t safely say that all bodily fluids are gluten free. We know that breast milk can contain gluten, and so mothers with children who have celiac can be feeding their little ones gluten without knowing it. But breast milk it made in a very different way than semen. For one, breast milk is made strictly to transfer nutrients and proteins from the mother to the child. So it makes sense that gluten can be passed through there as a nutrient. Semen, on the other end, is designed to convey genetic material from one body to the next (and used to create the being that benefit from the breast milk) so it’s designed to be environment to keep sperm alive and swimming. So their basic biological design is different, and it has different purpose, so they should totally have different compositions.

So what is in urine and what is in breastmilk? Well here’s a list of all of the things in breastmilk and urine:

Semen Breastmilk
Calcium Casein
Chloride a-lactalbumin
Citrate Lactoferin
Fructose IgA
Glucose IgG
Lactic Acid Lysozyme
Magnesium Serum albumin
Potassium Lactoglobulin
Protein Lactose
Sodium Oligosaccharides
Urea Calcium
Zinc Phosphorus
  Sodium
  Potassium
  Chlorine

There’s a lot of similarities. There’s protein in each. There’s sodium and calcium. But that’s about where the similarities end. Really, we should just say, these are both bodily fluids and leave it at that. Still, there’s some amazing things you find out when you look at what’s in these things. Not to go Food Babe on you or anything, but there’s chlorine in breast milk. I think that totally proves that when you break everything down to chemicals, you will find something that makes you go blarf

That being said, lets address the elephant in the room. If you know anything about the composition of semen, you know that there’s urea in there. That, for the laymen out there, is the main component of urine. Now, if you pay attention to celiac news at all, you’ll know that Celiac Disease Symposium last summer, a company unveiled a urinalysis (aka a pee test) that can detect gluten immunogenic peptides in someone who had digested gluten anywhere from 4 hours to 2 days after the incident. If you remember back to our discussion on gluten free beer, we discussed how guiladin can get broken down in our systems to make it less reactive to celiacs, the gluten immunogenic peptides are totally the broken up parts of the guilidin, it’s just a discussion of how our body natually breaks them down, and these are the things that the celiac’s immune system reacts to. This UA can detect a reactive amount (50 parts per million) of gluten immunogenic peptides in a celiac’s urine. This means that that there are trace amounts of reactive gluten immunogenic peptides in urine, does that mean that there’s gluten in semen. So, there is only 45 part 100ml of urine in semen, that means that the gluten containing components in semen are less than a reactive level. Heck according to the FDA, it’s below a testable amount in semen, so that means that there’s really no way to reliably check at this time. I think that means we can say gluten is gluten free and still make it under the FDA guidelines.

According to the FDA, we should be able to feel pretty good about that.  That, ladies and gentlemen, is science at work.

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